Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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