her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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