that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
