the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
My vagina just clenched in fear
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
