Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize
