This girl is more easily done than said...
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
