He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
