your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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