We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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