did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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