Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
