The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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