I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
