god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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