yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
