I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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