If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
