So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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