do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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