Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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