we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
