it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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