Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
