Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
