One girl and one boy is just not enough.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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