Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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