anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You dont lie about slip and slides
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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