I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
