I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
