Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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