it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
