I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
