apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he shaved USA in his pubs
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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