Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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