I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
