I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
