I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
