My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
