we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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