I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
