Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Randomize
