So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
