Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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