My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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