So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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