pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
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