I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
