So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
