yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You did what with his pubic hair?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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