So drunk, too bad you don't want this
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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