quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You need a sexual gate keeper
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
