I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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