something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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